Am I Doing This Right: An Unofficial Guide To Adulting
By Casey Kidwell
Published June 2017
(Blog no longer active)
Adulting. The officially unofficial phase of life that begins immediately after graduating college. Our lives transition from a premeditated series of events beginning with Preschool or Kindergarten and culminating in our final graduation from University. All those years of schooling and hard work have finally paid off and gifted you the ability to walk across the stage, arms outstretched for the most expensive piece of paper you will ever receive.
Just like that, life goes from late teens/early twenties college student to full-blown “adult.” College Graduation is the happiest while simultaneously most stressful day of your young life.
It wasn’t that long ago that I graduated from college. Two years this May to be exact. In the two years since I donned the black cap and gown and skipped across the stage to receive my diploma, I have learned so much and yet not enough about myself. These two years have challenged me personally, emotionally and professionally more than my four years in college and sixteen+ years of schooling ever did.
Back to adulting. Before I was actually thrown into this delightful chapter of life, adulting to me meant going to work, paying your bills and overall taking care of your health and well-being (i.e. not having Mom or Dad take care of you when you come down with a cold – which let’s be honest, no matter how old you are that’s always nice).
Boy was I wrong.
According to an article written by Katy Steinmetz for Time online, adulting literally means “to behave in an adult manner; engage in activities associated with adulthood.”
In these two short years I’ve laughed, I’ve cried (dear God have I cried), but most importantly, I’ve learned. With that I would like to share with you what I’ve learned adulting to really mean.
1.Adulting is finding your identity outside of a sorority, school club or student government.
Once you graduate college, you no longer have established groups to cling on to as a way of identifying yourself and guaranteeing a group of friends. It can be difficult to find your niche in the workforce - ESPECIALLY as a young adult. Take it from someone who still struggles with this every day. Adulting means discovering who YOU are apart from all the alcohol infused social events.
2. Adulting is learning to live your passion.
From the time I was in high school I knew I wanted to work in the fashion industry. I interned with major fashion brands in college, I was on my way to pursuing my dreams. However, by the time the real job search came post-grad, I couldn’t manage to land a job I was excited about (that also payed my bills) in the industry. While my current job may not have been in the industry I anticipated working, it hasn’t changed my passions. Each day I challenge myself to look internally and ask “am I living my passion?” Ask yourself this same question right now. If the answer is no, why not? What does living your passion look like to you? How can you make it happen?
3. Adulting is surrounding yourself with like-minded people.
In college it can seem like your friends are chosen for you. For example, from the moment you join a sorority or other school group, the people within the organization immediately become your “best” friends (super genuine, I know). A lot of times, once you and those friends graduate, you all disperse across the country, even the world. The ones you want to stay in touch with and who are willing to put in the work that comes with a “long-distance friendship,” will remain in your life. Those who don’t, well, they won’t. Never have I been more concerned with having friends with similar goals and aspirations than I have in my post-grad life.
“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher,” – Oprah Winfrey
I want the people I consider my friends and the individuals I choose to spend my time with to push me to be the best version of myself every single day. Can you say the same for your friends? Life is too precious to be wasted with energy sucking, negative Nancys.
4. Adulting is knowing you don’t have all the answers - not yet at least.
Every day brings a new challenge in this post-grad adulting world. It can be anything from finding a dentist to go to to knowing how to properly budget your money. With that, every day brings an opportunity to learn and to grow. Prior to this chapter of life, everything was laid out for you. You knew you went from eighth grade to high school to college to work. Well, you’re at work, now what? That’s the beauty of adulting, it’s up to you to decide what that looks like. And guess what? You may not have the answer and that’s okay. Look for the opportunity to learn and maybe you will find the answers sooner than you think.
5. Adulting is chasing what sets your soul on fire.
Trust me it can be so easy to get caught up in the day to day that adulting brings. Wake up, workout, get ready, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch TV, go to sleep, do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out Monday through Friday. God that sounds awful even just typing it! While this monotonous life can seem a major bore at times, that doesn’t mean it should keep you from going after your joy. As young adults, we often have to take jobs in order to pay the bills and keep food on the table - that’s just the reality. Living those lives we see on Instagram takes hard work and dedication (or a fat inheritance from your fabulously rich family). Challenge yourself each and every day to incorporate what brings you true joy into your life. Even if that isn’t by way of your job (at the moment), what can you do when you get home from work that puts a smile on your face as you lay your head on the pillow? I started my blog, AlmostFabulousMe as a way to connect with fellow twenty-somethings struggling in the adulting world and it has turned into that which sets my soul on fire. Find your “AlmostFabulousMe.”
It’s hard to summarize the things I’ve learned in two years in a short space, trust me when I say I could go on and on about this topic. These last two years have shown me more about myself than I could have ever imagined. Each day I’m learning not only about myself, but what adulting looks like for me. I may not have all the answers yet, but I can honestly say I’m loving discovering them.
While this has been the most challenging period of my life, it’s also been the most rewarding. I love this “adulting” life I’m leading and I can’t wait to see where the road may take me.